spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
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