i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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