I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I party with great urgency now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
