I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
