Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
