I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
