In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
