Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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