Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
