Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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