Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Your tits are I can't wait for
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My penis needs a shock collar
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
