Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
