I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
