where am i from again
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
