Porn is love you can see.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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