Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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