My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
