i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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