i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
