Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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