There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
