just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
