he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
