i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
