allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
