Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
