Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
