so explain again why im purple
no
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
