This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
