You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
