I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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