Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
