So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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