why didn't you poke me back
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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