Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
