first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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