i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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