did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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