im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
