If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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