Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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