I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
