I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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