Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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