think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
