Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
