did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
