At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
