im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
