I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
