do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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